How does it feel when an insect decides to have a rendezvous with your ear canal and decides to end its life there? I was in splits at the misery of a fellow blogger who logged such an experience a few months back. I never imagined that I'd be aurally deficient for 2 days from my own doing which ended only after a visit to an ENT specialist.
My ear seems to be a gunk magnet and needs to be taken care of every now and then. In the process of one such twiddling operation with ear buds two days back, I messed up, causing some gunk to half-block one of my ears. From hearing in 2 channel stereo, I was reduced to a 1.5 channel stereo with one ear struggling to hear. My ear was reacting to it in a funny fashion. I take a finger close to my faulty ear and I could hear odd whoosh sounds inside. I take the finger away and the sound reduced and faded. The tuning fork experiments in the Physics labs of yore flashed back.
Me, being the eternal experimenter, for relief, tried pouring warm water (not hot water, mind it) into the ear, shook and slanted the head in an effort to cajole the gunk to come out, but it refused. After a few minutes, it almost became a single channel stereo, disorienting me with a perpetual whoosh sound and a 'goiiiiiinnn' sound (:-) there is a medical term for the ringing, buzzing, crackling and hissing sound, 'tinnitus'). In spite of careful prodding with Johnson's ear buds, it worsened and I was a verbal wreck, bugging Señora every now and then (நச்சரிப்பு) to see with a flashlight if she could see something inside. Fed up on my antics from the morning, she quipped "இப்போவே இப்படி, இன்னும் வயசானா என்னெல்லாம் படுத்துவியோ". (It is like this now itself, I dread it when you age older)
Drove with the mono-aural capability to an ENT specialist in the evening who 'irrigated' my ear with warm water and washed the gunk out restoring my stereo hearing to all glory, all in just around 3-5 minutes, the driving took 25 minutes each way and the waiting at the empty clinic, another 30 minutes.
Today morning 'el Niño' was in a bad mood and left a piece of dosai in his breakfast plate, and I told him not to waste food as half the world goes hungry every day and that he was wasting food and hence money. Came a quick-fire retort, "You wasted money yesterday at the doctor by not knowing how to clean your ears properly. I don't do that. Ok!!!". I was speechless.
Lessons learnt - Avoid using ear buds to clean your ear, they could push the wax further into the ear canal, causing you extreme discomfort. Do not advise kids when they are in a foul mood. You will get it right back where you expected it least. :-) :-)
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Wednesday, March 03, 2010
A generation cloud and a lightning strike
Sometimes, you chug along on your life, unaware (or deliberately non-conscious) of the fact that you age every day, along with the world, and to the rest of it, until there is a moment of reckoning.
Was herding mine and brother's kids in a park near my parents' house weekend before last, as they were making a huge racket at home. The kids were roaming around and playing. This park (a vast one with hundreds of trees) is close to a few colleges around and frequented by those who need a timeout from their classes or a rendezvous point for young pairs to nestle in the relative obscurity of the boulders and trees. I was watching the kids, sitting on a bench and opposite me were a group of college girls (maybe doing their PUC) cackling away loudly and having a good time.
As I got up and started to walk back home past the chattering girls, one of them called out, "Uncle, can you please take a photo of us?". Uncle? Me? Ouch!!! I did the honours for them, smiling. It is not that I was not called an uncle before, or I felt anything wrong with that or offended, but it was probably never by a college student and that felt a bit strange. Kids (relatives / neighbors) call me by the various flavours of uncle (chiththappa (chikkappa), periyappa (doddappa), Ram mama, uncle etc), but they are 'kids' and I happily oblige them. Today's youth are so 'in your face'. :-) Reported to Señora on this and she had fun, taunting me. This was Newton's third law at work because of my mirth on a similar 'Aunty' episode earlier. :-)
I was just wondering how I may have requested someone in such a situation, in my past or even now. Maybe, I'd have started the conversation with an "Excuse me" and then requested for taking a photo without referring to any name, gender or a relationship, irrespective of their age. Or, could have used the words, "Sir" or "Ma'am" to start the conversation. In all probability, I think it would have been the first one and that is what I recollect of my trysts with strangers of all ages. A gender agnostic, non relation-referring, straight request for some activity to be performed.
An interesting behavior is reflected by 'la Niña', to an extreme, who refuses to call her aunt (my sister-in-law) as 'periyamma' in spite of cajoling by all, with goodies or even large monetary inducement (1000 rupees!), multiple times. No clue why she does that. If she wants (or has) to talk to her, it is a 'relation indifferent' conversation with no mention whatsoever of the term 'periyamma' and references to my sister-in-law to others would be as '[her cousins' name] Amma' (like "D's Amma"). This generation kids are stubborn, damn stubborn. :-) My nephew/niece calls us chiththappa/chiththi, a dozen times in a minute. :-)
Hmmm... Kids are kids to us (parents), even if they grow up tall.
Was herding mine and brother's kids in a park near my parents' house weekend before last, as they were making a huge racket at home. The kids were roaming around and playing. This park (a vast one with hundreds of trees) is close to a few colleges around and frequented by those who need a timeout from their classes or a rendezvous point for young pairs to nestle in the relative obscurity of the boulders and trees. I was watching the kids, sitting on a bench and opposite me were a group of college girls (maybe doing their PUC) cackling away loudly and having a good time.
As I got up and started to walk back home past the chattering girls, one of them called out, "Uncle, can you please take a photo of us?". Uncle? Me? Ouch!!! I did the honours for them, smiling. It is not that I was not called an uncle before, or I felt anything wrong with that or offended, but it was probably never by a college student and that felt a bit strange. Kids (relatives / neighbors) call me by the various flavours of uncle (chiththappa (chikkappa), periyappa (doddappa), Ram mama, uncle etc), but they are 'kids' and I happily oblige them. Today's youth are so 'in your face'. :-) Reported to Señora on this and she had fun, taunting me. This was Newton's third law at work because of my mirth on a similar 'Aunty' episode earlier. :-)
I was just wondering how I may have requested someone in such a situation, in my past or even now. Maybe, I'd have started the conversation with an "Excuse me" and then requested for taking a photo without referring to any name, gender or a relationship, irrespective of their age. Or, could have used the words, "Sir" or "Ma'am" to start the conversation. In all probability, I think it would have been the first one and that is what I recollect of my trysts with strangers of all ages. A gender agnostic, non relation-referring, straight request for some activity to be performed.
An interesting behavior is reflected by 'la Niña', to an extreme, who refuses to call her aunt (my sister-in-law) as 'periyamma' in spite of cajoling by all, with goodies or even large monetary inducement (1000 rupees!), multiple times. No clue why she does that. If she wants (or has) to talk to her, it is a 'relation indifferent' conversation with no mention whatsoever of the term 'periyamma' and references to my sister-in-law to others would be as '[her cousins' name] Amma' (like "D's Amma"). This generation kids are stubborn, damn stubborn. :-) My nephew/niece calls us chiththappa/chiththi, a dozen times in a minute. :-)
Hmmm... Kids are kids to us (parents), even if they grow up tall.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
My imagination runs riot
[Long post alert]
I have always been intrigued and to an extent foxed by headlines which say something like this.
Manmohan Singh [MS] discusses with Nicolas Sarkozy [NS] on climate change
TN CM Karunanidhi [MK] meets Simon Beresford-Wylie [SW], CEO of Nokia Siemens Networks
What do the biggies discuss in those meetings? Obviously MS won't discuss technicalities of ozone holes, glacial melting, Kyoto protocol, carbon credits, weather satellites etc with NS. Maybe they talk in generality in those meetings with courtesies and small talk, the bigger issues as memoranda etc being covered by their secretaries and the technocrats behind them and then go just to sign on the papers. I don't doubt that some are savvy in certain domains, but I feel that it is usually the "behind the scenes" bureaucrats who move the system.
For example SW, won't talk 4G, 5G, software defined radio, EV-DO, WiMAX, LTE, packet backbones or network evolution with [MK] or his aides like his deputy CM [MS], the union ministers [AR] (who obviously would be there for meetings like this) and the other cabinet minister [MA]. BTW, [SW] is no more the CEO of Nokia-Siemens, it is Rajeev Suri now.
Last week, on TV, I was watching a verbal duel between Jairam Ramesh and a group of scientists in a meeting over genetically engineered brinjal (And what is it with TimesNow channel! Showing it all over and over again as if India has walked out of the Copenhagen Summit). Never thought that the scientists could shout and heckle him off the stage. One minister whom I have seen talk some sense in a techie meeting (though not in depth) is Kapil Sibal, when he was in the Ministry of Communications at some IEEE conference in New Delhi. He talked on the social aspect of technology and ramifications and gave some interesting stats.
Here is my unofficial "imagination run riot" take on how the MS-NS or the MK-SW meeting may have progressed. The general folks have no clue on what transpires in those meetings as everyone involved is bound by the "official code/oath of secrecy", whatever it is. And all the disclaimers apply.
For example, this could be the hidden transcript of the meeting between MS and NS.
[MS]: Welcome, Mr. NS
[NS]: Thank you, Mr. MS [shakes hands]
[MS]: Please take a seat [motions NS to his seat]
[NS]: Thank you.
[NS]: [Clears throat] M, Why is it that you always wear a purple head thing?
[MS]: [smiles] No special reason Mr.S. I just like the colour. The head thing's name is turban.
[NS]: Turban, now I know. The one Osama wears. Do you know, we have a new rule in France that bans purdah for women in public? I am not sure if the rule covers turbans. If so, you may have to pay a fine of 500 euros next time when you visit France. [guffaws]
[MS]: [sheepish grin and mumbles] But turban is different from purdah and this is different from Osama's.
[NS]: Did you say something Man?
[MS]: No No. Please have some water. The water is bottled naturally at the glacial springs in the Himalayas.
[NS]: Merci. The water is not from Evian!!! [Turns to his aide and says, Pouvez-vous me faire l'eau d'Evian?] You see, I get my own water, "La France est grande".
[MS]: How is Ms.Carla Bruni?
[NS]: Ah! Asking about my suprême dame. Je t'aime Carla. She is busy and into musique these days. She is also thinking of modeling. Model, you see. Karl Lagerfeld, Yves Saint Laurent, Gucci, Roberto Cavalli, Miuccia Prada, Donna Karen you see.
[MS]: [Gulps]
[NS]: How about your life, M?
[MS]: [Peers through his glasses]. No personal life Mr.S. My madame is doing good. Daughter is in the US, making Obama's life difficult. My political life is in the hands of Soniaji. [clasps his hands]
[NS]: Ha Ha. Obama, he is inexperienced, ill-prepared by his advisors and not up to standards, vous voyez. And Merkel, she is a copy-cat and Zapatero, the Spanish guy, not very clever. [smiles and then grins] Sonia, Ahhh, Let me talk to Silvio. Nous sommes de proches amis.
[MS]: [Startled that NS may comment something more controversial] Shall we quickly run through our releases, before we meet the press?
[NS]: Okay. Commençons.
[The teams run through the text of the press releases while the heads acknowledge and sip water]
[MS]: [to his aide] Can we please have the official photographer come in and take a photo of our meeting?
[The photo of all the key folks sitting on a table with some papers on it and sitting on the comfy wide sofas facing each other is taken]
[MS]: Let us go to the press conference, Mr. S? The press would be waiting.
[They walk to a room where cameras and microphones are setup like a garbage dump one on top of each other and news folks overflowing in the room]
[MS]: Good evening ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the briefing. Myself and Mr. NS have had wide ranging discussions a few minutes back on terrorism, environment, culture and international relations. We have pledged to work together on issues of mutual and national importance and [blah blah blah]
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This could be the transcript between MK-SW meeting.
The meeting room has MK, AR, MS and MA and their secretaries. SW is ushered in with a colleague or two.
[SW]: [looking at all] va-na-kkaa-m.
[All]: வணக்கம். [and nod their heads]
[SW]: Thank you Sir, for meeting us.
[MK]: Thank you. This is MS, my deputy, this is MA, minister of textiles, this is AR, the telecom emperor.
[SW is confused, who is who, since all of them are wearing the 'karai' white veshti and has no clue why the others, especially the minister of textiles, are in this meeting]
[SW]: Nice to meet you, Sirs.
[MK]: உங்க companyல என்னவெல்லாம் பண்ணுறீங்க? (What all do you do in your company?)
[SW]: In addition to phones and their software, we work in latest wireless technology like 4G, 5G, WiMAX, Wide band frequency hopping spread spectrum receivers.
[AR is now fully alert on hearing the terms 4G, 5G and spectrum in the reply.]
[MK]: [shakes head to ack] and then looks at AR and MA. என்ன தம்பிங்களா, நமக்கு 2.5Gலயே நல்ல ஆதாயம். இவரு என்னமோ இன்னும் நிறைய சொல்லுறார். பாத்துக்கோ. (Dear folks, We had a windfall in 2.5G. This person is talking of more things. Look out)
[SW]: Sir, that additional land requested for expansion ...
[MK]: [looks at his secretary] எல்லா விஷயமும் சொல்லிறுப்பா. (tell him all the info) [looks at SW] My secretary will help you with all that and I'll approve. Don't worry
[SW]: Thank You, Sir.
[Secretary looks at SW like a lamb being taken for slaughter]
[MK]: ஒன்னு தோணுது. ஒரு புது திட்டம். தமிழ்நாட்டுல எல்லா குடும்பத்துக்கும் இலவசமா 2 cell phone குடுக்கலாம்னு, இலவச TV மாதிரி. இவங்க phone பண்ணுறாங்க இல்ல. என்ன பண்ண முடியும்னு கேக்கலாம். நாம இலவச cycle குடுத்தோம், இலவச கல்யாண பணம் குடுத்தோம், இலவச TV குடுத்தோம், Rs.2 அரிசி குடுத்தோம். இப்போ இலவச mobile குடுத்தா நம்மளை சரித்திரம் மறக்கவே மறக்காது. தம்பி MS, நீ இதை பாத்துக்கோ. [to secretary] இதையும் discuss பண்ணிருப்பா. (Something strikes me. A scheme. We shall give 2 cell phones free for every family in TN. These folks make phones. We can ask what can be done from these folks. We gave free cycles, free money for newly-weds, free TV and rice for Rs.2 and now free phones. We will never be forgotten in history. Dear MS, please take care of this [to secretary] Please discuss this as well)
[AR, MA, MS]: தலைவரே. உங்கள மாதிரி யாரும் யோசிக்க முடியாது. (Nobody can think like you, our leader)
[SW blinks, not understanding what is being talked about]
[MK]: We will issue a press release. My secretary will get in touch with you further.
[SW]: Thanks for the meeting, Sir.
[MK]: We shall have a photo for the press release. Please wait.
[Photographer comes in and SW poses with a bouquet to be given to MK]
[SW]: Thank You, Sir.
[All]: Thank You.
[Next day press release - TN CM's meeting with Nokia-Siemens CEO. New people-friendly CM's scheme for the people of TN to be announced on April 1.]
I have always been intrigued and to an extent foxed by headlines which say something like this.
Manmohan Singh [MS] discusses with Nicolas Sarkozy [NS] on climate change
TN CM Karunanidhi [MK] meets Simon Beresford-Wylie [SW], CEO of Nokia Siemens Networks
What do the biggies discuss in those meetings? Obviously MS won't discuss technicalities of ozone holes, glacial melting, Kyoto protocol, carbon credits, weather satellites etc with NS. Maybe they talk in generality in those meetings with courtesies and small talk, the bigger issues as memoranda etc being covered by their secretaries and the technocrats behind them and then go just to sign on the papers. I don't doubt that some are savvy in certain domains, but I feel that it is usually the "behind the scenes" bureaucrats who move the system.
For example SW, won't talk 4G, 5G, software defined radio, EV-DO, WiMAX, LTE, packet backbones or network evolution with [MK] or his aides like his deputy CM [MS], the union ministers [AR] (who obviously would be there for meetings like this) and the other cabinet minister [MA]. BTW, [SW] is no more the CEO of Nokia-Siemens, it is Rajeev Suri now.
Last week, on TV, I was watching a verbal duel between Jairam Ramesh and a group of scientists in a meeting over genetically engineered brinjal (And what is it with TimesNow channel! Showing it all over and over again as if India has walked out of the Copenhagen Summit). Never thought that the scientists could shout and heckle him off the stage. One minister whom I have seen talk some sense in a techie meeting (though not in depth) is Kapil Sibal, when he was in the Ministry of Communications at some IEEE conference in New Delhi. He talked on the social aspect of technology and ramifications and gave some interesting stats.
Here is my unofficial "imagination run riot" take on how the MS-NS or the MK-SW meeting may have progressed. The general folks have no clue on what transpires in those meetings as everyone involved is bound by the "official code/oath of secrecy", whatever it is. And all the disclaimers apply.
For example, this could be the hidden transcript of the meeting between MS and NS.
[MS]: Welcome, Mr. NS
[NS]: Thank you, Mr. MS [shakes hands]
[MS]: Please take a seat [motions NS to his seat]
[NS]: Thank you.
[NS]: [Clears throat] M, Why is it that you always wear a purple head thing?
[MS]: [smiles] No special reason Mr.S. I just like the colour. The head thing's name is turban.
[NS]: Turban, now I know. The one Osama wears. Do you know, we have a new rule in France that bans purdah for women in public? I am not sure if the rule covers turbans. If so, you may have to pay a fine of 500 euros next time when you visit France. [guffaws]
[MS]: [sheepish grin and mumbles] But turban is different from purdah and this is different from Osama's.
[NS]: Did you say something Man?
[MS]: No No. Please have some water. The water is bottled naturally at the glacial springs in the Himalayas.
[NS]: Merci. The water is not from Evian!!! [Turns to his aide and says, Pouvez-vous me faire l'eau d'Evian?] You see, I get my own water, "La France est grande".
[MS]: How is Ms.Carla Bruni?
[NS]: Ah! Asking about my suprême dame. Je t'aime Carla. She is busy and into musique these days. She is also thinking of modeling. Model, you see. Karl Lagerfeld, Yves Saint Laurent, Gucci, Roberto Cavalli, Miuccia Prada, Donna Karen you see.
[MS]: [Gulps]
[NS]: How about your life, M?
[MS]: [Peers through his glasses]. No personal life Mr.S. My madame is doing good. Daughter is in the US, making Obama's life difficult. My political life is in the hands of Soniaji. [clasps his hands]
[NS]: Ha Ha. Obama, he is inexperienced, ill-prepared by his advisors and not up to standards, vous voyez. And Merkel, she is a copy-cat and Zapatero, the Spanish guy, not very clever. [smiles and then grins] Sonia, Ahhh, Let me talk to Silvio. Nous sommes de proches amis.
[MS]: [Startled that NS may comment something more controversial] Shall we quickly run through our releases, before we meet the press?
[NS]: Okay. Commençons.
[The teams run through the text of the press releases while the heads acknowledge and sip water]
[MS]: [to his aide] Can we please have the official photographer come in and take a photo of our meeting?
[The photo of all the key folks sitting on a table with some papers on it and sitting on the comfy wide sofas facing each other is taken]
[MS]: Let us go to the press conference, Mr. S? The press would be waiting.
[They walk to a room where cameras and microphones are setup like a garbage dump one on top of each other and news folks overflowing in the room]
[MS]: Good evening ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the briefing. Myself and Mr. NS have had wide ranging discussions a few minutes back on terrorism, environment, culture and international relations. We have pledged to work together on issues of mutual and national importance and [blah blah blah]
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This could be the transcript between MK-SW meeting.
The meeting room has MK, AR, MS and MA and their secretaries. SW is ushered in with a colleague or two.
[SW]: [looking at all] va-na-kkaa-m.
[All]: வணக்கம். [and nod their heads]
[SW]: Thank you Sir, for meeting us.
[MK]: Thank you. This is MS, my deputy, this is MA, minister of textiles, this is AR, the telecom emperor.
[SW is confused, who is who, since all of them are wearing the 'karai' white veshti and has no clue why the others, especially the minister of textiles, are in this meeting]
[SW]: Nice to meet you, Sirs.
[MK]: உங்க companyல என்னவெல்லாம் பண்ணுறீங்க? (What all do you do in your company?)
[SW]: In addition to phones and their software, we work in latest wireless technology like 4G, 5G, WiMAX, Wide band frequency hopping spread spectrum receivers.
[AR is now fully alert on hearing the terms 4G, 5G and spectrum in the reply.]
[MK]: [shakes head to ack] and then looks at AR and MA. என்ன தம்பிங்களா, நமக்கு 2.5Gலயே நல்ல ஆதாயம். இவரு என்னமோ இன்னும் நிறைய சொல்லுறார். பாத்துக்கோ. (Dear folks, We had a windfall in 2.5G. This person is talking of more things. Look out)
[SW]: Sir, that additional land requested for expansion ...
[MK]: [looks at his secretary] எல்லா விஷயமும் சொல்லிறுப்பா. (tell him all the info) [looks at SW] My secretary will help you with all that and I'll approve. Don't worry
[SW]: Thank You, Sir.
[Secretary looks at SW like a lamb being taken for slaughter]
[MK]: ஒன்னு தோணுது. ஒரு புது திட்டம். தமிழ்நாட்டுல எல்லா குடும்பத்துக்கும் இலவசமா 2 cell phone குடுக்கலாம்னு, இலவச TV மாதிரி. இவங்க phone பண்ணுறாங்க இல்ல. என்ன பண்ண முடியும்னு கேக்கலாம். நாம இலவச cycle குடுத்தோம், இலவச கல்யாண பணம் குடுத்தோம், இலவச TV குடுத்தோம், Rs.2 அரிசி குடுத்தோம். இப்போ இலவச mobile குடுத்தா நம்மளை சரித்திரம் மறக்கவே மறக்காது. தம்பி MS, நீ இதை பாத்துக்கோ. [to secretary] இதையும் discuss பண்ணிருப்பா. (Something strikes me. A scheme. We shall give 2 cell phones free for every family in TN. These folks make phones. We can ask what can be done from these folks. We gave free cycles, free money for newly-weds, free TV and rice for Rs.2 and now free phones. We will never be forgotten in history. Dear MS, please take care of this [to secretary] Please discuss this as well)
[AR, MA, MS]: தலைவரே. உங்கள மாதிரி யாரும் யோசிக்க முடியாது. (Nobody can think like you, our leader)
[SW blinks, not understanding what is being talked about]
[MK]: We will issue a press release. My secretary will get in touch with you further.
[SW]: Thanks for the meeting, Sir.
[MK]: We shall have a photo for the press release. Please wait.
[Photographer comes in and SW poses with a bouquet to be given to MK]
[SW]: Thank You, Sir.
[All]: Thank You.
[Next day press release - TN CM's meeting with Nokia-Siemens CEO. New people-friendly CM's scheme for the people of TN to be announced on April 1.]
Monday, November 30, 2009
I have DOMS
I have had an attack of DOMS.
No, no no. Don't go off into a thought cycle thinking what this thing is. A virus? A new technology extending the Document Object Model? Or some new less known ailment?
DOMS, though somewhat ominous sounding (is it because of the proximity to doom?) is not what it sounds to be. :-) :-)
Went to an office outing for all the folks (the diktat was those not coming to outing, should put personal leave or attend office. So at least half the folks came there to beat that) to a resort just outside town, last Friday. Was forced into all types of kinematics including running, bending, playing etc etc, hence sweated it out. Mr.DOMS came knocking at me on Saturday morning and stayed with me till Sunday night before bidding adieu.
DOMS is "Delayed-Onset Muscle Soreness". Lazy-bones who don't walk or exercise regularly will be at the receiving end, when they try to do something new and so I was there by default. All bones creaked and muscles ached for 2 days. Now feeling good.
Maybe a warning knock for me to do at least some walking, if not jogging which I have forgotten.
Ah! The wonderful world of acronyms. Helps you make a post out of nothing. :-)
No, no no. Don't go off into a thought cycle thinking what this thing is. A virus? A new technology extending the Document Object Model? Or some new less known ailment?
DOMS, though somewhat ominous sounding (is it because of the proximity to doom?) is not what it sounds to be. :-) :-)
Went to an office outing for all the folks (the diktat was those not coming to outing, should put personal leave or attend office. So at least half the folks came there to beat that) to a resort just outside town, last Friday. Was forced into all types of kinematics including running, bending, playing etc etc, hence sweated it out. Mr.DOMS came knocking at me on Saturday morning and stayed with me till Sunday night before bidding adieu.
DOMS is "Delayed-Onset Muscle Soreness". Lazy-bones who don't walk or exercise regularly will be at the receiving end, when they try to do something new and so I was there by default. All bones creaked and muscles ached for 2 days. Now feeling good.
Maybe a warning knock for me to do at least some walking, if not jogging which I have forgotten.
Ah! The wonderful world of acronyms. Helps you make a post out of nothing. :-)
Friday, November 13, 2009
The what-meter
Students have their own creative way of passing time in classes, especially if it was boring. In those non-cell phone days, doodling, passing chits around, reading something else, playing some paper game or gazing out of the window (or at the opposite sex) etc, and it still is! :-)
While doing my UG course, I had a Physics teacher, say X (no name out of respect), who had a quirky mannerism. X used to use the word 'what' in almost all spoken sentences. For example, You know Bose-Einstein statistics, what?, The equation for relating inductance and capacitance is what, inverse of 2 times PI root (LC) what. The relation between joule and watt is what ..., What are you doing there, what? etc
I used to be a quiet, attentive, "teacher fearing" lad and in the good books of most of the lecturers including X (was anonymous for the rest :-)). To get over boredom during X's lectures (each class period was around 50 or 55 minutes), used to divide that time into intervals of 10 minutes each on the notebook margins and measure some of X's most frequently used words like 'tell me', 'what' and generated statistics out of it as 'whats per minute', 'whats per hour', peak 'what' intervals, plot a running graph and see the shape of the 'what' curve. I called it the what-meter and shared it with close friends. It used to be fun doing it and the counting used to be on hand and then transferred to paper once the count gets to five. The margins of my lecture notes from X's classes would have lots of dashes and crosses.
Obviously when you do it more, your attention will be on the 'whats' and not on the class. One fine day, X was discussing some serious topic, quantum mechanics, I think and when someone in the class asked a question, X shot a volley of 'whats', like 'what what what what what what what, repeat it' or something like that. I just couldn't control my laughter and burst out laughing aloud. The whole class was stunned and X ordered me to get out of the class and not to get into any of X's future classes because of my lack of seriousness.
After the class ended, scared out of my wits at his outburst, went begging behind X saying sorry and making promises not to repeat it again. After walking behind X two floors down to X's desk, X said that it was not expected of a student like me to behave that way in class and I was pardoned and warned not to repeat it again.
And thus ended the saga of the what-meter!
While doing my UG course, I had a Physics teacher, say X (no name out of respect), who had a quirky mannerism. X used to use the word 'what' in almost all spoken sentences. For example, You know Bose-Einstein statistics, what?, The equation for relating inductance and capacitance is what, inverse of 2 times PI root (LC) what. The relation between joule and watt is what ..., What are you doing there, what? etc
I used to be a quiet, attentive, "teacher fearing" lad and in the good books of most of the lecturers including X (was anonymous for the rest :-)). To get over boredom during X's lectures (each class period was around 50 or 55 minutes), used to divide that time into intervals of 10 minutes each on the notebook margins and measure some of X's most frequently used words like 'tell me', 'what' and generated statistics out of it as 'whats per minute', 'whats per hour', peak 'what' intervals, plot a running graph and see the shape of the 'what' curve. I called it the what-meter and shared it with close friends. It used to be fun doing it and the counting used to be on hand and then transferred to paper once the count gets to five. The margins of my lecture notes from X's classes would have lots of dashes and crosses.
Obviously when you do it more, your attention will be on the 'whats' and not on the class. One fine day, X was discussing some serious topic, quantum mechanics, I think and when someone in the class asked a question, X shot a volley of 'whats', like 'what what what what what what what, repeat it' or something like that. I just couldn't control my laughter and burst out laughing aloud. The whole class was stunned and X ordered me to get out of the class and not to get into any of X's future classes because of my lack of seriousness.
After the class ended, scared out of my wits at his outburst, went begging behind X saying sorry and making promises not to repeat it again. After walking behind X two floors down to X's desk, X said that it was not expected of a student like me to behave that way in class and I was pardoned and warned not to repeat it again.
And thus ended the saga of the what-meter!
Thursday, October 15, 2009
A laugh riot
The Gods Must Be Crazy - I
The movie starts with a Coca-Cola bottle (glass, and not plastic, mind it) being thrown off an airplane flying somewhere over the Kalahari desert. It is picked up by a group of bushmen as a gift from God and they find some use for it in their day to day life. The interesting thing about the bushmen is that their way of living does not have the concept of ownership / property. There is only a single bottle, and everyone wants to use it leading to a rift in the community. Our hero (Xi, a bushman) wants to throw the alien object at the end of the earth so that it doesn't come back. He makes his trip across the vast and amazing expanse of the Kalahari and his adventure and what he sees on his way are the object of this movie.
Some of the rib-ticklers in this movie.
- The broken down Land Rover which is used by Dr. Steyn, who is a biologist working in the game reserves to pick-up Kate, who is coming is as a teacher.
- The Land Rover landing up on top of the tree.
- Bumbling Dr.Steyn at the village school.
- How Xi, Dr.Steyn and M'pudi (Steyn's assistant) outwit Sam Boga and his group in rescuing the children held as hostage.
The sequel has more fun than the first one and the slapstick comedy never fails to deliver. This time however, Xi's kids, out of curiosity, track a truck wheels' impression on the ground, sight a poacher's truck, get on to the truck and being driven off. The movie moves forward in Xi trying to rescue his children.
The side track in this movie is that of Ann, a lawyer who is in the game reserve for a lecture, Dr. Stephen who is a game tracker and two soldiers, one a Cuban and the other, from Angolan border patrol who try to take each other hostage to go to their destination.
The laugh and fall off the chair scenes here are
- The hyena laughing at Ann when she first sees it and her mis-understanding(s) with Dr.Stephen on animal behavior.
- Dr.Stephen and Ann steal an ostrich egg.
- Ann at the windmill water spout with the monkey.
- The Cuban and the Angolan trying to outwit each other in taking each other hostage.
- Dr. Stephen and the persistent skunk.
- The two poachers (bumbling) driving around losing direction in the Kalahari.
In my opinion, watching movies like this should be shorn of seeing the movie as a critic. Kids who where watching the movie were rolling in laughter, no-hinds barred crackles, leaving them teary-eyed at the theatrics that was being enacted. Enjoyed this movie along with them and it is worth seeing again and again for the sheer joy of unadulterated fun for around 3+ hours for the two movies. Definite watch for kids and the grown-up kids too.
Mmm... Nice to be a kid again.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
The wall spaketh thus
When did our honorable BBMP get into all this? This is in the heart of Jayanagar.
Are there any other things for Rs.100? :-)
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Are there any other things for Rs.100? :-)
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